Regrets

My grandma passed away this past Monday, and I leave tomorrow to go to the funeral. She was in her 80s, and she wasn't sick as far as I know. I wasn't expecting her to die, and I am trying to let myself grieve her passing. I wasn't particularly close to her, but I feel like that there was unfinished business. It is little things like she never met my son because we live so far apart, and I meant to send some pictures that I haven't sent yet. As everyone is, she could be kind or cruel. There were misunderstandings in the family, not between her and me, but among others. I regret that she died without those relationships being mended. Is it odd to regret what you have no control over?

What happened to the trees?

I can't believe that the month of October is almost gone. My month has been spent with one after another of us getting sick. I hope next month is more relaxing.

Driving in the car, watching the weather change with a 3 year old is so cool. G is in awe of everything and she is constantly asking me "What's that?"

A few weeks ago, we were in the car driving, and she says "MOM!! What happened to the tree? Is it sick?"

Then I got to explain what Fall is all about. It just amazes me how children slowly wake up to the things around them. Each season it is all new to them. Adults just take the miracles all around us for granted. I must say that I love watching the world through my children's eyes. They are so cool.

Happy Birthday Jen

Jen is one of my closest friends. We have been friends for 17 years. Old friends are very special. I don't have to explain myself to Jen because she knows me already. She is compassionate and kind. She is great.

Raised Hands

I grew up in a church where we raised our hands during worship. When anyone would ask why we raised our hands, we would tell them that it is like a small child raising their hands to their mom or dad. Since I've had children, I have realized that babies don't raise their hands to be picked up until they are several months old. It is only after their parents have reached out to pick them up hundreds of times that they learn they can lift their hands to be picked up and held. So when we reach out to be held by our heavenly father, we can do that because he has reached out and picked us up for a cuddle first. He loved us first.

Strong-Willed

A couple of times this last week I caught Focus on the Family's messages on Strong-Willed Children. It has been interesting because I haven't really been thinking of my own children, but rather what was I like as a child. I have always thought of myself as strong-willed and stubborn. I think that my whole family is strong-willed. Listening to the messages confirmed my thoughts that being strong-willed cuts both ways -- it can be good or bad; the choice is up to you. Some strong-willed college students talked of how their parents appreciated their strong-willed-ness. Their parents actually appreciated the trouble that the children caused them growing up because it made the parents better people. That amazes me, and I really like it. It is a good thing to be strong-willed. It is a good thing to be strong-willed. It is a good thing to be strong-willed. God made us strong-willed. Isn't that amazing? There is no wrong in being strong-willed. Just like anger, the sin comes in how we use it. I tend to think that of being stubborn as a burden, and I hate that my family and friends have to help carry with me. It is really freeing to think that being strong-willed is a blessing from God. Of course, I need to be careful not to wrong others in my stubbornness, but I was not made defective. How cool is that?