Unexpected Results from Running

This summer I took a class that helped me transition from walking to running.  It trained me to run a 5K which I did run last Saturday with a brilliant time of 44 minutes.  I almost ran the whole thing, but recovering from bronchitis slowed my progress a bit.  While I didn't make my goal of running it in 30 minutes ( I do plan to continue to work towards that goal.), surprisingly it taught me a couple of things other than running.  It won't surprise me a bit if these other two results will have a bigger impact on my life than the running does.

First - I learned that you can run farther and longer by changing your thoughts from "I'm not sure I'm going to make it." to "I go a little bit farther each day." and " Keep on going ... you can do it."  On certain days, it would've been quite comical to listen to the words that I said under my breath.  While at the beginning of the class, the words that you would've heard are either best not repeated or just down right depressing, by the end of the class, I sounded more like the train that could.  I have to say that the preschool version is much more effective than the "mature" version.

Second - When things started to get really bumpy with having difficulty breathing and finally being diagnosed with bronchitis, I learned that I still have determination.  In high school, I was quite the determined and even at times driven individual.  I made goals and I achieved them.  Indifference started to show itself once I met all of my goals and then couldn't figure out what goals to make next.  Motherhood slowed me down greatly, and while I have been grateful for many of the things that it has taught me (not to mention those two small bundles of joy), I really thought I lost my determination, my will power, and indeed, my ability to get things done other than laundry, meals, & dishes.  This class taught me that the determination is still there and all that it needs to be activated is a worthy goal.  I am currently doing some soul searching on what goals to make, but fitness is definitely one of them!  I can't tell you how glad I am to know that I haven't lost that part of myself although I'm still looking for a bit of patience (but I never really had that either).

I would love to hear about any of your unexpected results!

Changing My Mind

I'd like to change my mind. Some of you may be surprised to hear that because you know how long it takes me to select what to wear in the morning or to decide what's for dinner. I'm pretty good at changing my mind on these less important things, but when it comes to the important things, it's difficult to set my mind right.

What I mean is that I would like to be healthier and make healthier decisions. My mom is going through her second fight with cancer, and I keep reading about healthier choices helping to prevent or decrease your chances of getting cancer.

This leads me to my weight. On one hand, I would like to just accept that all of us are different sizes and like myself the way I am. I'm tired of seeing pictures of anorexic models and comparing myself to them. (Oh you know that you do that too.) On the other hand, I weigh in excess of the range that is determined to be healthy by a bunch of doctors and I have borderline high cholesterol. I can't help thinking that if I lose some weight that I will feel more energetic and maybe live a longer, active life.

So here's the problem: Every time I think about losing weight I hit a wall, a mental wall. According to the more successful weight losers - like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, & Nutrisystem, for my height and build, I need to eat 1200 calories and exercise 30 minutes a day to lose weight. I can't seem to wrap my head around those numbers, but if I can somehow change my mind, maybe those numbers will be easier to achieve. I think those numbers are impossible and as long as I think that they will be -- how do I change my mind? How do I deal with the physical and emotional discomfort? I want to believe that all my body needs to be healthy and satisfied is 1200 calories, but I'm not there -- How do I get there? That's all I want to know.

Ready for Something Different

I don't think I will ever take good health for granted again. I'm so ready to go back to one doctor and two dentist visits a year.  I'm getting ready for my next oral surgery, and I hope this implant will be a keeper. My bicycle accident was over a year ago, and I never thought I would still be working on replacing the teeth I lost.  Losing my front teeth has really shaken up my psyche. I just don't recognize the old lady in the mirror.

I'm just so ready to move on from this accident.  I guess I have more to learn from it -- that's why it is hanging around. I recently completed the bible study by Beth Moore, called Breaking Free.  It really changed how I think and feel about God.  I don't want to lose the peace I have found.  I'm glad that I have that peace because our world has been shaken:

My mom was diagnosed with secondary leukemia. This is her second bout with cancer and this time it just feels so much more life threatening. Some days I am so overwhelmed with worry about all the things I really have no control over.  That's when it is time to pull out my list of what I know to be true.  I do think that the Truth does set you free.  It is amazing to me how many ways you can apply the principles of truth and grace.  -- I think that is another post.

So I guess I'm ready for something besides medical issues, but I don't see that happening in the next 6 months so I'm just looking to learn whatever I can, hopefully with humility.  I keep waiting for a different season to start -- kind of like waiting for Spring, but instead, I think I'm going to have to make time for something different.  I still not sure how that is going to happen.

Bicycle Accident - Blog Hiatus

I was in a bicycle accident on March 9th, and I'm preparing for my second surgery. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to blog until I heal from the second, and hopefully last surgery.

I'm thinking of starting over on the 101 Things to Do in 1001 days. Anyone have any suggestions on what I should put on the list?

Being Disciplined is Exhausting

For almost a week, I have set some priorities in my day. I sat down last Thursday, and I decided what I really wanted to do each day, and then I've actually done those things first. Sometimes, that's really all I've gotten done, but I've done them. I've gone to bed earlier, and I've gotten up on time. I've completed my bible study and I've exercised. On some days, I've done some housework, and on others I've gotten some paperwork finished. I've worked on pacing myself so why am I so tired?

Now, I'm off to get dressed after my workout. I'm getting my hair done today, and it really, really, really needs it.

P.S. On Monday, I made the most delicious Italian Chicken & Dumplings from Rachael Ray. Mmmm ....

Thank Goodness It's Friday

I'm so glad that it's Friday. N will be home from Costa Rica today. I'm so glad because I'm just exhausted because I've gotten about 6 hours sleep this whole week. I just can't sleep well while Nate is away. I hear every noise, and I get cold. On top of this, G was sick and we were at the drs office a couple of times. After her fever, she developed hives, and I need to put in a call to the drs office because I still can't figure out exactly to what she was allergic. Then, I've been on the phone straightening out a couple of issues with our mortgage and insurance. I hate beaurocracy!

On Monday, I layered ravioli, meat sauce, and cheese in a casserole dish. We've eaten it 3 times this week which has really helped with putting dinner on the table. It has even provided some comfort in the midst of all of the chaos called life.

Today I taught C how to dust by putting socks on his hands. He helped with the laundry and vacuuming the stairs. I really don't usually do this, and I've been convicted that I need to work as well as play with my kids. If I do all of the work, then I end up not spending much time at all with them because I'm too busy working. Besides they need to learn how to take care of a home. I think if I work them, I'll actually spend more time playing with them as well.

I've been working on a couple of baby blankets for friends who have babies, and I have a bolero that I need to finish. I'll probably try to bring these on my upcoming trip to Texas.

Anyone trying any new recipes for Thanksgiving?

Weight Loss Goal Met!!!

Yippee!!! I am now officially at my pre-C weight. I think a few things are starting click in me about being healthy. I have tried to lose weight on my own for years, and I have all of this knowledge about nutrition and exercise, but putting that into practice is much more difficult. Since starting Weight Watchers online, I have realized that while I eat fairly healthy, I just eat too much. I especially tend to overindulge on sweets and fats. I'm learning that in order to loose weight and be healthy that I have to have the right combination of eating healthy, a little bit of indulgence as well as a good bit of exercise. I have had ice cream almost everyday, but I'm only eating a little bit of ice cream. This ice cream has really kept me from bingeing on a whole lot of sweets. On the other hand, I'm eating a lot more fruits and vegetables. Also, I am finally connecting exercise to it all. I'm actually probably not exercising anymore than I did pre-Weight Watchers, but I'm moving a lot more. I must say my house has never been in better condition which is a good thing since we are going to sell it soon. At some point, I know that my weight will taper off, and I will probably need to really ramp up the cardio and weights to loose the weight I want (I'm not in my twenties anymore). That will probably be a big battle for me. For now, I'm just going to enjoy my accomplishments.

One more thing, I thought I would share one of my favorite blogs when it comes to eating light and healthy: GreenLiteBites

Mother's Day Weekend

I must say I had a great weekend. I went to visit my friend in Philadelphia. We spent the weekend watching movies, eating great food, shopping and visiting the art museum. It was very fabulous, and it felt balanced because we ate and walked and rested. When I came home Saturday night, the house was clean! The kids had gifts prepared and N had flowers and chocolate. Sunday morning, N made me breakfast that included chocolate dipped strawberries. Mmmm....

We went to G's Lacrosse game, and then went to Outback for dinner. Outback had a 2 1/2 hour wait at 4:30pm, but we were able to walk in and sit down at a booth in the bar area.

N and I have been following Weight Watcher's Online for 3-4 weeks now. I have lost 8.8 pounds, and I think N has lot almost 15. I can't believe that I ate so decadently this weekend, but I stayed within my points and I lost almost a pound. I have gotten into a pattern where one week I loose 2.5 pounds and then the next I loose less than a pound. I am happy with this pattern because I haven't been able to loose anything for years now. I would much rather loose slowly and develop some healthy habits.

This month is so busy. Next weekend is a men's church retreat and the weekend after that, N & I are going on a fabulous getaway. Somewhere in there I want to continue my spring decluttering.

This is my 100the post on this blog!

Mad about Jane Austen

PBS has had the Complete Works of Jane Austen on Masterpiece. Each Sunday it is a new piece. So far I've watched Persuasion, Northanger Abbey, and Mansfield Park. Last Sunday, they did Miss Austen Regrets which was a movie about the last few years of her life. It is so interesting to see how timeless these stories can be. I'm just fascinated by how some things have changed for women, but other things have stayed the same.

I also just finished a historical novel about Emily Dickinson. Emily was basically a recluse who was fortunate to have family wealth. She devoted her life to her poetry, and at times she was just a little crazy. Her family basically allowed her to be a recluse so that she wouldn't embarrass them in public. Emily lived through the Civil War, but it didn't touch her life very much. She made a conscious decision to only have relationships with men via correspondence so that she could devote her time to her poetry.

I am a strong believer in the value of women, but I don't buy this feminist notion that we can have it all. Whatever road you take, there will be benefits, risks, and a price. I am glad that we live in an age where women can make more choices about what to do with their lives, but those choices are often a painful selection process. There just isn't enough time in the day to be all things to all people and still carve out a niche for yourself.

Health Update: I've lost the 5 pounds I gained over the holidays plus a couple more. I quit going to Body Pump, but I'm doing more yoga, and I'm working on increasing my cardio from 20-30 minutes to 30 minutes - 1 hour. As usual, consistency is the most difficult. There just isn't a good time of day, but I'm making some progress.

I really like Mansfield Park because the heroine of the book/movie is poor, plain and not very clever, but it is her gentle and quiet spirit that makes her so endearing. I like to find those hidden qualities.

New Year, New Me, Old Me, It's just me.

On Jan 1st, I went to a yoga class, and then on Jan 2nd I went to Body Pump. Today I am stiff and sore and a bit out of sorts. I am determined to have some impact on my health, and stick it out this time until a difference is made in my body. I knew it was going to get tough, and today was tough. I accidentally set off the security alarm and had to call our previous owners to get the code to shut it off. I hit my head hard on the bathroom sink while helping C put his pants back on, and C has been testing the limits all day. I know that all of these are very minor obstacles and it will pass, but I think I'll go knit for a while.

BTW, I finished my scarf.

Yakkity Yak Yak

I was without a voice for several days, and now that I have some of it back, I just want to talk, talk, talk. I guess that is only natural, but I've gotten a few strange looks from acquaintances who aren't used to me talking so much. Not having a voice is very isolating. Ah well ... Eventually things are getting back to normal. Maybe there is even hope that my house will get clean.

We have finally gotten a camera, and I have several pictures I want to take and post, but the weather isn't cooperating. It has been so overcast that there is just a couple of hours a day that have decent light or the slim possibility of taking a decent picture.

What is going on with everyone? Is everyone ready for the holidays? I need to make sure that I have equal gifts for the kids. I hope to wrap some things this weekend. Also, I have some cookies to bake, and menus to plan. Of course, all I want to do is knit my next sweater. (Did I tell you that I finished my cabled cardigan, and I think it turned out great. Hopefully, N can help me take a great picture of it.)

How our thoughts shape our lives

Do you ever feel like a certain topic keeps coming up in completely unrelated circumstances? Well, lately, I've read unrelated books and had several conversations with people who don't know each other about how our thoughts shape our lives. I feel like I'm being surrounded. So I'm taking the hint and really delving deep into the topic to see what I need to hear. Actually thought control is a large part of how I overcome anxiety. The interesting thing is that in order to have control of my thoughts, I didn't focus on getting the negative thoughts out; I focus on putting positive thoughts in. Since N & I have been under a lot stress lately, I wonder how our thoughts contribute to our feeling stress. Here is how I start the process of controlling my thoughts:

1) When I'm feeling calm and the kids are occupied, I think of some simple sentences that I know are true and good and healthy. Sometimes these are from the Bible, like "I have a sound mind." Sometimes these are things that I need to hear, like "I have plenty of time, or I am a good mom."

2) Whenever I'm feeling frazzled or anxious, I start repeating these sayings over and over in my mind. I repeat them slowly and purposefully.

3) If I notice that in a certain situation, I'm more frazzled than others or I'm repeating thoughts in my head that are causing harm, then I try to come up with sentences that are made for that situation. Sometimes we say things to ourselves that we would never tell someone else, like "I am so fat." If you wouldn't tell others, then don't tell yourself that either. Be as courteous to yourself as you are to others. Instead of trying to stop saying "I am so fat," when you catch yourself saying that, then repeat to yourself, "I am becoming healthier and healthier."

Recently I've been so frustrated with the kids and I have caught myself thinking "No one listens to me." This of course is a gross overstatement, but if I tell myself this enough times, then I will believe it, and it will shape my attitude. I found myself becoming more angry and less patient with the kids. I've started to say to myself that "The kids will learn how to listen to me." "I can figure out how to teach them to listen."

Over time, when you fill your head with healthy words, then these words will heal your attitude and make you feel so much better about your life. They can even help motivate you to try new things and gain new confidence.

That being said there are times when your brain chemistry can be off, and it becomes close to impossible to shape your thoughts. The negative overcomes the positive. If this is the case, and you, for whatever reason, can't go see a psychiatrist or counselor (which I strongly recommend), then I suggest you try taking Fish Oil capsules. Most Americans are extremely nutritionally deficient in Omega 3s and there has been a link between lack of Omega 3s and the increasing incidence of Depression and Bipolar Disorder. For more information about all of the scientific studies, please read The Omega 3 Connection by Dr. Andrew Stoll.

Hope this helps everyone.

Hair, Hormones & other Girl Stuff

G wants us to have the same hair color, and I'm actually thinking about it. Every time I let my roots show, I have more and more gray hair. I am graying really fast, and I'm scared to let my hair grow all the way out now because I think that I'm at least 25% gray and I'm only 35. I was reading something the other day that has pretty much convinced me that I am in peri-menopause or at least the stage right before menopause. All my symptoms point to my progesterone is decreasing. Oh the joy of being a girl.

Weight Milestone

I weighed myself this morning and I am now back below my prepregnancy weight with C. My belt is on its last notch so I may have to buy new pants if I loose anymore weight, which I will!!

I have been in research mode, and I read something last week about how anti-depressants can effect your weight. They either slow down your metabolism or they make you feel hungrier. I must say that I am learning to feel a little bit hungry. In fact, I don't remember feeling hunger like I do now with the exception of breastfeeding C. I felt like I was tired and starving all the time when C was breastfeeding. It felt like he drained me dry. In other ways, he can still do that now, although he is just the cutest, most cuddliest little boy who is the first to ask me if I feel okay. I have been so impressed with how compassionate both G and C can be. I guess there is something to be learned from a mom who doesn't feel well from time to time.

My next milestone is my prepregnancy weight with G; that's another 7 pounds.

Dehydrated

So far all of my bloodwork has come back as normal. I've upped my water intake from 8 cups to 12 cups (8 oz per cup). I feel a lot better. I think that with the additional exercise that I've been getting and the decongestants I've been taking for my allergies that I just needed more liquids.

Lickety-Split Meals

I just bought this new cookbook called Lickety-Split Meals. It is fast family friendly meals that are healthy. Anyway, I have tried a few recipes that I got on line before I bought the book, and then today I tried my first whole meal. It was a big hit!!!

We had Kickin' Chicken with Fries. The meal included baking chicken in the oven with a quick salsa sauce on top, and at the same time you bake oven fries with skins, and put green beans in the microwave (I sprinkled Adobo on top.) Serve everything with apple sauce. The preparation took me 15 minutes tops, and everyone loved it.

If you want to try some of the recipes, go to www.zonya.com

P.S. Exercise Results

I have yet to lose weight, but I have lost an inch from my waist. Well, that's something at least.

Stiff & Sore

I went to the physical trainer yesterday, and my past sessions we've gone slow because my anxiety causes me to have a low tolerance for being sore. The last time we did my legs, I couldn't tell that I'd worked out so I asked her to up it a notch. I did ask for it, but I am having a difficult time moving around. I can definitely feel my legs. I hurt in places that I didn't know I had muscle. I used to work with a girl that always said "If you can feel it, then they can see it." So my legs must just be gorgeous now :-P

The kids have outgrown their winter gear. So I am making C a hat to match the scarf that I made him a month ago. I thought I could finish it in a night, but I think it will take me a week now. G wants a pink one, of course. As soon as I complete something, I have 2 or 3 more things that I want to make. Sometimes, knitting is just more important than laundry:-) I read this knitting blog by The Yarn Harlot, and evidently this is a common problem among knitters.

What's for dinner? - Marinated London Broil from the crockpot, and Honey-roasted Sweet potatoes.

Getting Settled

Well, I must be getting settled. I actually worked out yesterday and today. That is definitely a step in the right direction. I have been organizing and knitting and cooking.

I organized the kids books and toys in the basement. It still isn't very kid-friendly. I need to think about what I can do to make it easier for the kids to get to their toys and put them away. Any tips on how to do that? Or how to make my laundry room more productive? Maybe I should send a picture to Martha :-)

I have been knitting and knitting. I made 2 scarves for Nate, and I am finishing a pair of socks.

What else can I do? Oh, today is Grace's field trip to a farm, complete with a hay ride. That should be lots of fun.

Tomorrow, I will battle with the state of Maryland for driver's license and license plates and tags. Thank goodness, my brother is coming to babysit. Thanks David.

BTW, I didn't do all of this yesterday. It has been a work in progress over the past week or so.

What's for dinner? - I made Pumpkin Ginger Soup and homemade Honey Whole Wheat Oat Bran Bread with Ground Flax Seeds. It was so yummy. I love making soup this time of year!!!

Getting Back on Track

We've moved to a new city with the new jobs, new schools, & new house that goes with all of that. I have gained more weight with all the stress. It has been so difficult to get back on track. I have started working with a personal trainer, and I have reduced my portions. So far, I don't really see any results. It just seems like weight is so much harder to lose than it is to gain. I am still reading books on metabolism, and I have learned so much. Now if I could only apply it .... I hope I can stay motivated long enough to see results. I can just tell that my body doesn't like the extra weight, and I certainly don't like the way it looks in the mirror.