Disconnected

The hardest part about being depressed is the overwhelming feeling of being alone, utterly alone. I am surrounded by caring family and friends, and yet I feel disconnected. I have to remind myself that there are those who love me and care for me.

Today I didn't feel like doing anything so I just took the kids to a neighbors and hung out. Grace had someone to play with which was great for her. I had an actual adult to talk to. Overall it was a good day, but I feel so insecure. Questions race through my head like: Should I have said that? Was that too forward? Why is my house such a mess? Maybe more people would visit if it looked better ...

I know some of these thoughts are just the depression talking, but I have some rocky relationships that just make me feel so unsafe in the realm of friendship building, but I am NOT going to give up. So I stick my neck out again ...