Changing My Mind

I'd like to change my mind. Some of you may be surprised to hear that because you know how long it takes me to select what to wear in the morning or to decide what's for dinner. I'm pretty good at changing my mind on these less important things, but when it comes to the important things, it's difficult to set my mind right.

What I mean is that I would like to be healthier and make healthier decisions. My mom is going through her second fight with cancer, and I keep reading about healthier choices helping to prevent or decrease your chances of getting cancer.

This leads me to my weight. On one hand, I would like to just accept that all of us are different sizes and like myself the way I am. I'm tired of seeing pictures of anorexic models and comparing myself to them. (Oh you know that you do that too.) On the other hand, I weigh in excess of the range that is determined to be healthy by a bunch of doctors and I have borderline high cholesterol. I can't help thinking that if I lose some weight that I will feel more energetic and maybe live a longer, active life.

So here's the problem: Every time I think about losing weight I hit a wall, a mental wall. According to the more successful weight losers - like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, & Nutrisystem, for my height and build, I need to eat 1200 calories and exercise 30 minutes a day to lose weight. I can't seem to wrap my head around those numbers, but if I can somehow change my mind, maybe those numbers will be easier to achieve. I think those numbers are impossible and as long as I think that they will be -- how do I change my mind? How do I deal with the physical and emotional discomfort? I want to believe that all my body needs to be healthy and satisfied is 1200 calories, but I'm not there -- How do I get there? That's all I want to know.